Thailand

Masochism, And Other Musings

This isn’t my photo, but it IS the substance I currently feel like I’m drowning in:

Today marks my halfway point through Oshawa #7. To sum up the experience thus far, I’ll answer the rhetorical question posed by the title of my last blog post: yes. Yes, I now know what millet is and it is the most boring food of all time. It makes even foods like… oh I don’t know, banana chips sound exquisitely gourmet and appealing.

No, that’s an unfair overstatement. Banana chips are always kind of weird and gross.

Anyway, I’ve taken these past several days as a cue to get a lot of massages, each time asking the masseuse to press as strongly as possible in an effort to take my mind off of all the banana chips I’m not eating. My requests are not in vain- as you can imagine, two knees firmly planted in your hamstring are more than sufficient in helping you forget about the buckwheat awaiting you at home. I think my poor masseuse was at her wit’s end, though, when I asked ‘just a bit stronger’ for the 4th time. She quite literally stopped mid-stroke and called in reinforcement. Somebody with the big guns took over from there and this one nearly lifted my shoulder blades through my skin (it’s like having wings!), so that was more my style. Really, Thai massage are awesome. It’s basically someone doing yoga for you (known in some, more eloquent circles as ‘passive yoga’). Since I’ve been doing yoga for myself 9,000 times a day for the past couple of months, I’m highly receptive to an activity that derives similar benefits from my lying around for an hour.

OK. I’ll admit it. I’m exaggerating. (SHOCKING). Ohsawa really is not bad at all. Coffee is what I miss most desperately but apart from that, there’s something very freeing about eating so simply, not to mention it saves a lot of time and money.  Don’t get me wrong, though- I’m sure that as soon as all of this is over, I’ll rush out and eat me a nice hearty plate of Thai fried rice at my earliest convenience.  Hooray for dashing all my efforts in one swift movement!

In other news, yesterday I completed my final visa run and it was truly the most horrific one yet.  The trip was made worse before it even began by the fact that it rained ceaselessly during my entire motorbike ride down to the pier.  When I arrived, soaking wet, Good Ole Night Boat was unashamedly overbooked, so I was appointed a spot, not on the usual row of mattresses, but on the hardwood floor in the shoe room, right there next to the discarded shoes of over 100 passengers. This is where I spent the ungodly hours between 10pm and 4am on Thursday night.  My neighbor to the right, a Thai man, expressed it best when he said, repeatedly, “Oh my Buddha”.  (I swear every word of this is true, even though it reads more like a piece of comically stereotypical anti-travel propaganda).  Needless to say, I am relieved to have the experience behind me.

Finally, I’d like to inform all of you that WordPress suggested I add Wikipedia links to things ‘shoulder blades’, ‘exaggeration’ and even ‘banana chips’, but I respectfully ignored these thoughtful proposals because I trust you, reader. I trust that you’re intelligent enough to know what a shoulder blade is, not the least because each of you own two but also ‘cuz I think you’re real smart and I like ya a lot.

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4 thoughts on “Masochism, And Other Musings

  1. The sad thing is I could deal with eating millet every hour of the day but I would be secretly hoarding coffee beans, emulsifying them with a mini Buddha statue and snorting the bean powder every morning before yoga. Some might call this an addiction.

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