Alas, my days in Thailand are numbered. I have a mere 4 days left which means I’m currently in a place that rationalizes, “I’m leaving soon so I don’t need to clean my bungalow, even though the counters are camouflaged under a layer of grime and the floors are textured with unidentified grit”. I’ve always subscribed to the logic that if it’s my own filth, it doesn’t count. I have a hunch that this thought process is pretty progressive
As my departure approaches, I find myself oscillating between two points of view. The first is a raw, unbridled elation to be headed home, once again in the Magical Kingdom of America (lest we be outdone by the Kingdom of Thailand which is actually it’s real name), with my beloved family and friends. Also, things like Starbucks. Judge me if you must, but it’s been 4 months and I have no shame. In my bereft state, a hazelnut mocha is rating higher than both wine and the blood of a virgin on the list, ‘Nectars of the Gods’.
The second point of view occurs when I remember that, whilst in Thailand, I don’t have a job and can thereby do what I want exactly all of the time. So, to gain more perspective on my opposing feelings, I’ve created the below list:
Things I’ll Miss:
-My yoga school
-Walking out of my door and being on the ocean’s face. Reference below:
-$9 massages, a topic I’ve discussed in exhaustive detail
Things I Will Not Miss:
-Mosquitos/gnats/sun flies: Multiple times, I’ve ended up with over 50 bug bites on my body, scratching in my sleep until I bruised. Consequently, the joy I experience at the successful killing of a mosquito is reaching levels of sheer ecstasy I’d rather not discuss. I will say this- it’s not unlike the description found in any Psych 101 textbook for early warning signs of a sociopath.
-Loogie-Hawking: I don’t mind saying that if I have to hear this happen many more times, it won’t be long before I stab myself in the ears. Seriously- outside my window, on the street next to me as I eat, while I’m lounging on the beach. It’s ever-present. Additionally, if I spelled loogie-hawking wrong, I don’t even care; in fact, I’d take it as a sign that my life is on the right track.
-The Rain: While most others are good-naturedly braving the weather in board shorts and flip flops, I can be found huddled alone, ensconced in double-layered ponchos, raising my fist and cursing the heavens. No wonder I chose to live in San Diego for the past several years.
If I’m being honest, though, this list is largely unnecessary. The undeniable truth is that I simply can’t wait to be home, to spend the holiday season with my dad and dear friends, and to start a new adventure in San Francisco. And I’m gonna engage you in some real talk right now: after India, Vietnam, and Thailand, I kinda need a break from ‘developing countries’ for awhile. Example: the power has been out island-wide for 3 straight days and is expected to stay off until Saturday. Electricity is turned on for about one hour each day and that’s the only reason I’m able to post now. The outage isn’t related to weather or… well… anything, seemingly. So that’s another thing- it’ll be nice to be in a country where things, you know, work. THERE, I SAID IT.